Tuesday, December 29, 2015

My favourite poem


You must love someone,
even though only grass, river, tree or stone,
on someone’s shoulder you must lay your hand,
so that it gluts its hunger with nearness,
there must, must be someone,
it is like bread, like a drink of water,
to whom you must give your white clouds,
your brave birds of dreams,
your shy birds of helplessness
- somewhere for them there must be
a nest of peace and tenderness -,
you must love someone,
though only grass, river, tree or stone,
for trees and grass know what loneliness is
- for footsteps always pass by
even if they pause for a moment -,
for the river knows what sadness is
- it need only brood over its depths -,
for the stone knows what pain is
- how many heavy feet
have already gone over its mute heart -,
you must love someone,
you must love someone,
walk side by side with someone
on the same path -
oh grass, river, stone, tree,
silent companions of the strange and lonely,
good, great beings,
who begin to speak
only when men have fallen silent.
(Translated by Alasdair MacKinnon)

slovene version:

Ivan Minatti - Nekoga moraš imeti rad

Nekoga moraš imeti rad,
pa čeprav trave, reko, drevo ali kamen,
nekomu moraš nasloniti roko na ramo,
da se, lačna, nasiti bližine,
nekomu moraš, moraš,
to je kot kruh, kot požirek vode,
moraš dati svoje bele oblake,
svoje drzne ptice sanj,
svoje plašne ptice nemoči
- nekje vendar mora biti zanje
gnezdo miru in nežnosti -,
nekoga moraš imeti rad,
pa čeprav trave, reko, drevo ali kamen
ker drevesa in trave vedo za samoto
- kajti koraki vselej odidejo dalje,
pa čeprav se za hip ustavijo -,
ker reka ve za žalost
- če se le nagne nad svojo globino -,
ker kamen pozna bolečino
- koliko težkih nog
je že šlo čez njegovo nemo srce -,
nekoga moraš imeti rad,
nekoga moraš imeti rad,
z nekom moraš v korak,
v isto sled -
o trave, reka, kamen, drevo,
molčeči spremljevalci samotnežev in čudakov,
dobra, velika bitja,
ki spregovore samo,
kadar umolknejo ljudje.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

With In Vitro Fertilization, Persistence Pays Off?

I just read this article:

Sentence from the article:
"Nearly two-thirds of women undergoing I.V.F. will have a child by the sixth attempt, suggesting that persistence can pay off, especially for women under 40."

If I wrote this article, my sentence would be:
More then one third of women undergoing I.V.F. will NOT have a child by the sixth attempt.

I am already 40+, so it doesn't really make sense for me to read articles like this. It doesn't matter any more, at least not for me.

I took my cousin's kids (aged 3 and 6) for a fun day, we attended some animation programme for the kids. It was my Christmas gift for them (what I wanted to give them were nice experiences & lovely memories / kids now have enough of material things anyway).
It was nice.  But at the end of the day I felt empty. It is hard to see what infertility took away from me, for good.

In the last few days I got some beautiful emails, thank you. I was deeply touched when reading them.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Merry Christmas

Wishing Merry Christmas to all my readers who celebrate it. 

Thank you to all who took time to write to me. I got 6 very kind emails from France, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, New Mexico and from north of the USA.  They mean a world to me!

But the first email that I got, wasn't  really nice. The reader from the north of Europe told me that my blog is often very bitter.  Guess what? I know it is bitter (sometimes). I don't need anybody telling me that. 


I was working very hard lately. I worked yesterday until the evening and then I cycled to Ljubljana's city centre... which is just magic with Christmas lights. I took some photos for you.

I loved walking around the city centre. Enjoying the moment. 


I am now 6 days off work. What a luxury! 

We got back our Netflix subscription, for 3 months. Winters are so much more fun with Netflix!

We've just finished watching this: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2249364/  
We liked it a lot.

Now we are watching: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2442560/?ref_=nv_sr_1
My husband loved it from the start. I love it now (and yes, I admit, I am having a bit of crush with Tommy ;)

I did not watch this movie, nor will I: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3707106/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_4
But I did watch the trailer.
Angelina is a mother of seven. And she thinks she has the ability to portrey an infertile woman?

Saturday, December 12, 2015

What I wish for Christmas

I have only wish for Christmas this year.
I would love to get an email from you.
To learn who you are. 
Where you come from.
Why you read my blog.
What my blog means to you. 

I promise I will not publish your emails. Nor misuse them in any way.

My email: klara.soncek (at) gmail.com

I am looking forward to Christmas :)

PS: photo above was taken in Perito Moreno, Patagonia, ten years ago. How I miss travelling! 

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Who won?

I noticed that people who have their own kids, don't mention their nephews and nieces a lot. When they do, they usually mentioned them as playing buddies for their own children.

For childless people nephews and nieces are important.  They are the closest to our genes in the next generation.

One thing that was on my mind lately and it was never said before. So I will say it.

If you are a childless woman and you have a sister that has her own children - then you really have nieces and nephews.

But if you have only a brother who has his own children - you really don't have nieces and nephews. Since those children belong much more to  their mother's family then in yours.

How I looked forward to all the fun things I will do with my nieces one day (like teaching them English, reading stories, going to the zoo)!  My younger niece is already 4 and I didn't have her in her entire life not even for five minutes. My older niece is 8 and basically I can have her only once per year, for one afternoon, to visit Santa Claus carnival. All the other times I asked to have them, their mother found some kind of excuse why not. So I stopped asking.

Who won? Not me. And certainly not the girls.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015


Today it is one of those dark days that come when at least expected. I feel that I don't really live my life. All I do is ticking of tasks from my long to-do-list at work and from my to-do-list at home.

When did I have the last unplanned day, just for myself? Can't remember.

I guess happy-get-together with business partners did not help. I met a really nice colleague that I haven't seen for ages. We had two IVFs at the same time.  I knew that her first was unsucessful. But I didn't know if her second worked out or not, since she changed work and I never met her again.

I met her again today.  She has twins, aged 7. And soon after the twins were born, she got a surprise baby.

She is a nice girl, I am happy for her.
But at the same time I feel sad for myself.
I know. I am over 40. I should get over it. Most of the time I am doing pretty well. Just not today.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

The beautiful scarf

Not many women in my age group (40+) are still lucky enough to have a granny.
I am among the lucky ones.

I have been working very hard lately (each day 10 hours+, including Saturdays). I have literally no time. Since I know the long hours are temporary, I don't really mind. But one  thing has been on my mind lately.

Everything will wait. But what if something unpredictable happens to my granny? I would forever regret for not taking time for her.

I visited her today, it was lovely.

She is now knitting a beautiful colourful new scarf for me. I can't wait to get it! I love scarfs. And I know this will be my favourite.   The things that I love I never throw away... so this scarf will  be mine always.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Some helpful man rules

Man Rules 
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story.

We always hear
 "the rules" 
From the female side..
Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! 
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " 
1.Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 
We need it up, you need it down. 
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. 
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work! 
Strong hints do not work! 
Obvious hints do not work! 
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem 
only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. 
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1.. If you think you're fat, you probably are. 
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
 other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. ..

1. Christopher Columbus did 
NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. 
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not 
A colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it 
will be scratched. 
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as FOOTBALL or
motor sports

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. 
Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.