Saturday, November 30, 2013

Reading & Travelling & Memories

I was away for five days, on a business trip with a coworker. We worked hard. But we also took time to enjoy. We had some delicious dinners. Drank lots of tasty capuccinos.  And in the evening I was reading a book written by a couple from my country who travelled around the world for 7 years. I really liked the book, all 370 pages. The end of the book hurt me a bit - she found out in Africa (aged 40) that she was pregnant, so they stopped travelling and returned home. They are parents to a beautiful baby boy now. 
(I wish them all the best. I just wish that one of our travellings would end the same way. We took quite some travelling in the years of 10 failed IVFs - all with the same purpose: to heal my wounded soul. The travelling really helped. It showed me that the world is huge and beautiful and worth living for... even if our lives did not turned out the way we hoped for.)
My way of travelling would be to travel one month per year. After one month of travelling we both miss our home sweet home...  Since for the next 9 months there will be no travelling for us, I wanted to share some photos from the past with you.  We did not actually like Peru that much (we did not feel safe all the time), but it definetely has some highlights that are worth seeing.
Machu Picchu:
Coca tea:
Uros Islands, Lake Titikaka:
Island Taquile, Lake Titikaka:
Our favourite food in Peru:
Arequipa, Santa Catalina Convent: 
Our way of travelling:

Sunday, November 24, 2013


My DH & I were long in a dilemma whether to build our future house with bricks or decide for a prefabricated house.

We visited a specialized fair and there was a company that builds houses in a traditional way - with bricks. And this company has a slogan: Why build a home for only one generation?  We looked at each other and I said: "We do not need a home for more then one generation". DH agreed and a decision was made.

We spend a lot of time searching about different options of prefabricated houses.

We are saving as much money as we can for our home.

We are both looking forward to it a lot (it will take some years, but still...).

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Thursday, November 21, 2013


I took a day off yesterday, to visit the largest book exhibition in our capital. It was lovely, so many books!  I love to read books, but I do not often buy them (usually I borrow them in the library or from my best friend).

I bought a great book about growing vegetables for me. Some children books for my nieces. Some books for learning German for my DH and his nephew (the nephew and me learn German once a month together). A book for learning Italian for me. 

I had a lovely day.

After the exhibition I went for a long walk around the city centre, Ljubljana really is a beautiful city.
(some info: )

During the walk I saw three sets of twins. Yes, IVF does do wonders for some people. Not for me. (I did not let this thought to spoil my perfect day).

Sunday, November 17, 2013

My beautiful Wolf

I am attaching my favourite photo of my beloved Wolf. It was taken in spring last year. We went - as usually on Saturdays - on a long walk, just the two of us. And then in the middle of the walk, we took a break. I was reading a newspaper. And he had plenty of work to do - he had to guard me :)   Whenever I see this photo, my heart melts. He was so mine.

I am learning to live my life without him. I am doing quite OK, but I still miss him terribly.  And a question - Will you get another dog soon? - hurts.  No, I don't want another dog. The only dog I want is the Wolf.

Things that I did this weekend:
  • I went to swimming pool & sauna world on Friday after work. It was nice.
  • My cousin visited me on Saturday morning with her two kids (18 months and 4 years). It is great that she stopped breastfeeding so her visits do not bring any pain, only complete happiness. The little one discovered that Auntie Klara is the best thrower of kids into the air - so we enjoyed each other company a lot. The older one just wanted to watch cartoons on youtube.
  • I went to the movies to watch this movie:   with DH yesterday. We liked it, but as a friend of mine said - you need a drink after it.
  • I went for a long walk today with DH through the forrest.  We talked about the best ever moments with the Wolf. There were so many of them. Memories did not make us sad. They made us happy that we had him for six years and a half. We just wish we could be together longer.

Sweet eternal dreams, my beloved Wolf. I will always miss you.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Good people

Beautiful video.
Many different people doing many different acts of kindness.
Taken by cameras on Russian cars.

Feeling empty

I meet up with colleague from university & ex-coworker 4 times a year. It is our tradition - we always go for a coffee and cakes. Usually we have great time together - talking about life, work, politics, world, everything.

But yesterday she was totally focused on her two daughters (aged 7 and 13).  I felt so empty after our date. And angry at myself. It is hard to listen for three hours about somebody else children.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Where did the time go?

My DH & I recently celebrated the 10th anniversary of our wedding. Which means that I stopped taking birth control (how ironic!) 10 years ago.

I didn't have lunch today at work, I went for a short walk instead. It was a warm autumn day, so there were lots of mothers with babies in strollers outside.

After many years I really looked at those young mothers. And I realized that most of them were more then a decade younger then me. Some of them looked so young that they could be my daughters.

The decade went by so quickly. But in a way, I am glad.  The darkest years of my infertility are behind me, for good. This is good.


I am currectly reading a biography of this writer:

He celebrated his 100th birthday not long ago.

He survived so many difficult years, I admire him for his courage.

I haven't actually read anything from him yet, the next book I will read will be this one:

(it is translated also in English).

Sunday, November 10, 2013

The Book Thief

The Book Thief

I have the perfect best friend.
She loves to buy & read books in English.
Since having two small kids she just keeps buying books, in order to read them later when she has more available time.

I saw this trailer this week and loved it: 

So I asked my BF if perhaps she has the book and of course the answer was yes.

I am looking forward to start reading it today in the afternoon.  

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Empty nest syndrome never ever my syndrom?

I wrote this post almost two years ago:

I was so wrong. Now that our beloved Wolf is gone, I do have an empty nest syndrome.
I have too much available spare time and I do not know what to do with it.
The wounds are still too fresh, I haven't been able to put my life together.
I spent  343 Saturdays in a row with my darling Wolf.
What should I now do on Saturdays?

I went swimming to a swimming pool today in the afternoon. I haven't done that for the last 6 years and a half. It was good. I will go again next Saturday.

Thursday, November 7, 2013


Photo: Yosemite

Grieving the death of my beloved Wolf is for me equally hard as grieving the death of our embrioes (of our children who did not have in their destiny to be born).

What was the best therapy for getting a happy life back, after failed IVFs? Travelling. And beloved Wolf.

What will be the best therapy for us now? Travelling. *

Can't wait for September 2014, for few weeks of travelling around the USA.  Can't wait to meet our friends again. Can't wait to visit Lake Tahoe for the first time. Can't wait to visit Yosemite national park for the first time. Can't wait to walk the other half of the Golden Gate. And if I get full 4 weeks off work - can't wait to see New York again. Can't wait to own Amtrak railpass again.

* PS: we will have a new puppy in our life again. Hopefully in spring 2015. I would just love to have one great holiday without having to worry about anybody. Lots of people advised to get a new puppy immediately. But we both feel that beloved Wolf deserves not to be replaced immediately.

Friday, November 1, 2013

1st of November


Our day in pictures:
  • we visited our beloved Wolf's grave and brought him fresh flowers (Wolf and me planted those flowers together in early summer, for completely different purpose).
  • DH & me made a 13-kilometer-walk around our most beautiful alpine lake, for the first time alone, without the Wolf. It was lonely without him.


I went to Austria with my DH, to visit one of his clients yesterday. He always takes me with him, to help him translate to German (I like German language a lot as well).

Afterwards we went for a sighseeing for two hours in Graz (I am attaching some photos). It is a beautiful city. More info: